tiff of the 'burbs. *

So many things to be thankful for.

Because I’m sure Tumblr will soon be filled with Thanksgiving posts, I’ve decided to get a head start. We should be thankful every day anyway, right?

I’m thankful for my family. I know I’m blessed to be so close to my siblings and talk to them like they’re my friends. This year has been a roller coaster in many ways, especially after we found out my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in August (this would be the first time I’m directly addressing this on Tumblr). Having Mom diagnosed with this disease brought us even closer than we already were. I often think of her as the backbone of our family. Although the battle is not over, I’m thankful that we were able to help her get through her last round of chemotherapy last week, in preparation for her surgery next month.

I’m also thankful for my friends. They’ve supported me through personal trials and failures, as well as been there to celebrate my accomplishments and milestones. I’m thankful for my friends back at home that I consider my extended family. I’m thankful for my friends from college and am happy I’ve grown closer to them 2 years after graduation. I’m thankful for my new friends in LA. Special thanks to one of my closest guy friends for introducing me as the new girl and sharing his friends with me, including the great guy I’m dating (whom I’m also thankful for).

I’m thankful for the opportunities I’ve been given to take steps to get my closer to my career goals. My internship position exceed far beyond all of my expectations. As of yesterday, I’m now considered a PAID employee. I have to clear a few things with the President, but my current Executive Director said that, I can start using the Program Coordinator title. 24 WITH MY FIRST JOB EVER WUT WUT (finally). Filling out a W-4, employment verification, and direct deposit forms for the first time was surreal.

I’m thankful for a roof over my head, clean drinking water, food on the table, clothes on my back, education, and various things that I have and don’t really need. This is something that I need to keep remind myself of, so I don’t take things for granted. A few weeks ago, my new laptop and cellphone were stolen at a coffee shop while I was cramming before class. Of course, I was/am still upset that someone could do that to another person, I am constantly trying to remind myself I have so many other things to be thankful for, beyond material possessions.

The love of God. Most importantly, I’m thankful for having faith in an almighty God that is so good to me, even when I am not always so good to Him. There’s so much I could say, but I’ll leave it at this: Thank you, God, for E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Love,

TiffanyJam <3 

At 24, I’m where I’m supposed to be.

In high school, if you asked me what I’d be like in my mid-twenties, I probably would’ve said the following:

• Established career
• In love—married or engaged
• Living in the city on my own (LA, SF, or NY)
• Self-sufficient

Yeeaaah, not exactly where I’m at now. As of this moment, I am:

• Interning with no pay
• Single (which is fine, by the way)
• Living in the city…at my grandpa’s house
• Swimming in enough student debt to purchase a mid-range luxury car

Being in your mid-twenties, for lack of a better word, is weird. On one hand, I have friends who are engaged/married, buying homes, having babies…doing “adult things”. On the other hand, I have friends who are out partying every weekend, single & not looking to settle down anytime soon, with no real drive. Of course, there are plenty of combinations and “in-betweeners”.

I carpool to school on some nights with one of my close girl friends from my graduate program. We both have the same concerns with where we stand in life and our conversation tonight made me think. And it also made me laugh. Here we were complaining about where we aren’t in life (no engagement rings—she at least has a boyfriend, no certain career path, and living at home), while coming home from night classes that we chose to submit ourselves to multiple nights a week on top of our jobs/internships and personal lives in order to get masters degrees. We chose this.

It’s nights like this that I find it necessary to reassure myself that there isn’t always a concrete timeline for full-blown adulthood to begin. It’s also nights like this that I find it necessary to remind myself that God has a plan for me and I that I need to trust Him, even when the path seems foggy and sometimes bleak.

I will say that moving to Los Angeles was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my 20s thus far. I have learned so much about myself, my relationships, and the career path I want to make for myself through my internship. I’ve been able to reconnect with good friends and make some new ones. Social life is great. I’ve gone on dates and have been treated right to the point of me actually feeling spoiled (no offense to the guys I’ve dated in the past that read this, lol). I’ve met several individuals in my field that have shown me that this career path is doable at different coalition meetings.

I may not have expected life to turn out this way, but I trust that I will be pushed and pulled in the right directions until everything starts to make sense.

One more year.

I’m having my “oh sh*t, I’m going to graduate this year” moment. A familiar feeling, except now it’s more like “oh sh*t, I’m going to graduate and will never go to school again and OMG now I really need to find a job. plz hire me!”.

This week, my supervisor & I are going to meet to discuss some “personal strategic planning”, focusing on my career objectives and overall goals I want to meet at a professional level. She told me she wants me to think B-I-G and think about my “dream job”. It’s been a while since I really sat down and reflected on these things. To be honest, I can’t come up with one title for my “dream job”. I ultimately would like to have a job like hers, but I know that won’t come overnight. Where does a person with a masters and hardly any work experience go? I’m afraid to know the answer. With a graduate program as broad as Public Administration, there are so many options, which I guess is both a blessing and a curse for people that can be indecisive as I can be.

I L-O-V-E being in my 20s, but this pre-quarter life crisis is overwhelming at times.

P.S. What I really want to say to my supervisor is “I CAN HAS YOUR JOB?!” (Executive Director of a health nonprofit)

Humbled.

I’ve never been good with rejection, whether it comes from the opposite sex, jobs, anything. Maybe it’s insecure middle school Tiffany that lingers around from time to time, but I get easily butthurt. Or maybe I’m just human. I also tend to be competitive and I hate losing, which probably plays a part in why I don’t play competitive sports anymore (lol). I know I’m not always going to be the best at everything I do, but I try to be above average.

But, as needed, sometimes I get smacked in the face with humble pie.

After two interviews with an organization, I got a rejection email from an internship I really wanted. It was part-time, flexible, paid, a full year, and in a prestigious medical center in Los Angeles. It stated that “[they] have decided to move forward with other candidates whose qualifications more closely match the position”. Well, that blows.

Tomorrow, I’m officially starting my other (unpaid) summer internship with the American Academy of Pediatrics. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful that I actually landed one in the first place, especially because even unpaid positions are hard to get these days.

And so the job hunt continues…

To new adventures & chasing your dreams.

Yesterday, I was offered a summer internship position with the American Academy of Pediatrics! I’ll be working on the advocacy side of the organization, working closely with Children’s Hospital Los Angeles (CHLA) and the Los Angeles Healthcare Provider Alliance for Children (LA-HPAC). The position is unpaid, but I get to work remotely (from home) and get compensation for any mileage I put in. I also have an interview with another medical center in LA next week for an internship that can last for the entire school year, so I’m hoping/praying that also falls into place, because I need some money to help pay for school/extra things.

The important thing is to strive towards a goal which is not immediately visible.  That goal is not the concern of the mind, but of the spirit.  -Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Today, one of my closest girl friends is leaving for the Philippines to attend medical school. We sent her off at a going-away party last night. I’m not going to get super sentimental or emo (haha, please), but I will say that the feeling is bittersweet. On one hand, the person I spent almost every single day hanging out with for a year is moving 16 hours away (I’m not sure how we suddenly got super close either). On the other hand, I’m really happy that she’s doing something so great to pursue her dreams of becoming a doctor, even if that means sacrificing the comfort of being near her close family and friends. I don’t know about any of you guys, but I probably wouldn’t be able to do it myself.

One half of knowing what you want is knowing what you must give up before you get it.  -Sidney Howard

One step at a time.

It’s okay to not know what you’re going to do after graduation. If there’s one piece of advice I’d give to the present and future generations it would be to stay proactive and passionate. First and foremost, think about your strengths and things that interest you. Work on refining those talents and try out different things that allow you to use them. It’s okay to try things and find out they’re not your niche. It’s also okay to try other things and fail. This is part of the process. Pick up an internship, do some job-shadowing, look into your options. Don’t just do something because it’s something you’re good at. If it’s not satisfying, change your attitude or change your job. Whatever you do, you need to stay proactive and passionate. I really believe that is the key to the beginnings of a happy and successful life.

Undeclared.

I think that with each week that passes in grad school, I become more and more obsessive with looking at career options. I’ve been having a hard time concentrating on my homework for the past week and a half because every time I attempt to read a chapter, I end up researching internships & possible career choices.

Laugh in my face if you want to, but I want to like my future career. In fact, I want to love my career because I want it to involve at least some of my passions and interests (by the way, if someone can help me figure out a job that involves sleep, my dog, traveling, food, and charity work, I’m all ears-hah). Without producing a long list of those, I will just boil down my passions into one simple phrase: I want to help people. Is there really any other way of saying that without sounding so cliché?

From my parents, I learned that loving your job is important, but I know not everyone can say that about their careers. My mom is a licensed clinical social worker and my dad is a registered nurse. They both have “helping careers”, which I admire because they really do have to put up with a lot of crap (for my dad, that’s also meant to be literal). But they seem to love what they do. My family isn’t rich, but we aren’t poor. There are definitely months that I see my parents stressed over car payments, the mortgage, and other expenses. The economy is way different now than it was when they started their careers. But I’m not going to let that stop me from doing something I’m passionate about…whatever that may be. There’s always going to be the thought of practicality ringing in my ear. I understand that I may never own a bougie designer bag, Louboutins, etc. To be honest, I think I’d feel guilty to have those things as a public administrator in a crappy economy, but maybe that’s just me.

Anyway, something I’m worried about is graduating with a masters degree and still being in the same boat. Unemployed, undecided, and with loans accruing interest. I know this happens a lot, but I would like to avoid this as much as possible (I’m sure there are tons of people who feel me on this). I know really lucky people who landed jobs straight out of undergrad, those who are still on the job hunt, and those who decided to go back to school for a completely different career. It happens. Some would say that I should have waited to go back to school again. Maybe that is true, but at least I know for sure that this is the general field I want to get into. I’m lucky that I’m in a program is so broad with a lot of options that I like.

On a much lighter note, I have straight A’s so far in this semester! :)